acknowledges | ic contact

[ Sasuke has never heard the stories about his abandonment of the village. He left his peers behind, the only people who had really mattered were Naruto... Sakura. There was no love lost on him to turn his back on all of them to go after his goal of revenge.

It's easy to see the way people love Naruto. They all support him in the village, in ways Sasuke never would have thought possible as a boy. It would have been nothing to them, with no bond to Sasuke, to agree to come after him. He'd joined Akatsuki, been a vessel to help them forward their plan. Everything had seemed so much smaller to him, then— narrowed and thin. Kill his brother, raize Konoha, kill the kages— steps toward the conclusion of wiping the Uchiha off the map.

Revolution had come later. Acceptance, later than that.

He can't bring himself to look back at Naruto when he speaks. This isn't the first time he's heard this raw quality to his friend's voice, but somehow it seems... more personal.

Even after I begged—
I didn't know if I could beat everyone else too—
...it felt like I lost everything.

Sasuke can see the reflection of his own face in the water, warped and hazy by the steam and the sparkle of magic. He's probably as old as his father had been, now, much older than his brother ever had the chance to be— and only here, with the young mirror of his best friend, does Sasuke realize just how much Naruto had been willing to give up.

His life was one thing. As ninjas, their lives had always been forfeit. He thinks of Naruto begging the Raikage, when Sasuke had callously taken the man's brother to further his own ends. He thinks of what it would have been like for the woman who became his wife to tell Naruto that it was too late and that the only due course was death— for everyone to turn their back on his cause after he'd spent years forging bonds that weren't Sasuke.

Sasuke glances up through hooded eyes, forcing himself to look— to watch Naruto from under the shield of his lashes.

How selfish he had been.
He never would have survived if Naruto hadn't come for him. ]

You're so stubborn.

[ Sasuke's voice is so soft that he doesn't recognize it as his own. He hadn't even known he could sound that way. ]

Edited 2016-08-27 09:15 (UTC)

[ There's more. He knows that there's more, probably a tangent of thoughts swirling around Naruto's head, that's so clear and certain in his chest and his mind but so difficult to put into words. Difficult because there's so much feeling, that it's difficult to communicate everything.

He wants to hear it, maybe not today, but someday, so it's not trapped in a helpless circle in Naruto's mind. So that Naruto can put it down, make it tangible and progress out of the thing so encompassing and vague and painful inside him. If he can. Bolin doesn't know. This process of timelines and world hopping is complicated, and he can't even tell if when they'll go back they'll remember everything they learned here.

Probably not. And that's the most frustrating thing, because it means that they can't even incite change with what they learn here. The futility of it is frustrating, to the point where even Bolin is at a loss for positivity.

He doesn't say anything when Naruto returns the hug, just squeezing him tighter and frowning fiercely where Naruto can't see. There's tension and struggle there, come on so quick and wholly, like it had been lying in wait under the surface all along. It's going to keep going on from here on out before it's not as though there are any solutions offered between them, but Bolin is here, his hands pressing hard against Naruto's shoulder blades, feeling the pattern of his ribs against one of his arms. He's here, and he's going to give it all that he's got, even if it isn't much. ]

[The words almost seem to startle a laugh out of him. The sound isn't as bright or loud as they usually are, but just for a moment it feels like they're little kids again- walking together after a mission, sprawled out on the grass after training. Sitting side by side on the edge of that dock.

Naruto had played those memories out over and over again in the years after Sasuke had left. How he might have changed things if he'd known the truth about Itachi sooner, if he'd been able to beat Sasuke in the Valley of the End, if he'd caught up to him just a little faster, if he's gotten to them in the forest before Orochimaru had laid that curse. If he'd reached out sooner. If he'd just reached out to Sasuke instead of being embarrassed.

He'll probably never stop feeling those things no matter how the future turns out. There had been so much pain.

The truth was that no matter how far Sasuke went- no matter what he did in those years- he was also still that boy that had protected his teammates. He was still the boy willing to die to keep Naruto's worthless little life, willing to sacrifice his own dreams- the boy that put himself in front of him and in front of Sakura-chan. I don't want to watch those precious to me die before my eyes again.

Maybe without reason, Naruto smiles.]

You're the one that wouldn't come home. Bastard.

[He doesn't cry the way he otherwise might, but that's because it feels like the moment he's about to, Bolin is there to catch him. His eyes squeeze shut and the tension threaded through his body snaps like a cut string; it's as if he just can't hold it any longer. Maybe that's true. Bolin asked him what he missed most and the words just start spilling out of him.]

I miss the house I always lived in, even though it's dirty 'cause I haven't seen it in months. I miss my friends that're all counting on me, and the people important to me that've died. I wanted my master to watch me grow up and do everything we talked about and I didn't get to say goodbye. I miss Neji who died 'cause he believed in me.

I miss my parents I never got to see and Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei who were always looking out for me- and Obaa-san shouting at me even though she's the Hokage. I miss having chakra and bein' able to practice jutsu. I miss all the streets I walked on and my friends from other villages and the playground I used to stay in and the kids that nagged me to train with them. I even miss Kurama and we only just became friends.

[The breaths shudder out of him. Naruto's grip doesn't change around Bolin's body- his forehead pressed into the skin of his throat and the pattern of inhale-exhale rocking out of him.]

I miss everything'attebayo.

And I'm gonna miss everything here when it's gone too.

[ That's a lot; a lot of people and places, and it gets Bolin to smile against Naruto's hair, not because it's tickling his nose. He's glad to hear it, if he's honest, because he was wondering what kind of place Naruto had come from, because he couldn't pick up on what the other Hero was yearning for, what he missed, what he thought of when they were silent. So he's glad that there's so much, and that Naruto has a life that he loves to go back to.

Because if it was just duty or a war, he's not sure that he'd want that for Naruto.

His hand moves on Naruto's back, patting him between the shoulder blades, light enough that the gesture doesn't even vibrate all the way to Naruto's breath. Reminiscent of his parents when he was young—of all parents probably, but it's not as though Naruto would know. ]

Yeah, it sucks.

[ Because it does, and it's not as though there's anything either of them can physically do about it, like tear a hole that would taken them back to their homes. It just sucks, and they're allowed to wallow and be sad, and think about how frustrating it is to be in this position. He wants to go home too, even if it hurts to think about how much he'll miss this. ]

But you'll get back... It's possible! I've seen it happen. And I'm going to miss you a lot too.

[He's not saying it because he's homesick. It doesn't have the same resonance that Bolin's words do when he talks about it- like it's the one thing always on his mind. Naruto loves his village because it's the only home he knows, but he also understands what it means to leave it behind. Travel is associated with growth and in this way, being here in Blanc is an extension of that mentality.

He's saying it because Bolin asked him to, and because he can't stop replaying all of his memories, over and over again, when Sakura lapses into silence and when Sasuke doesn't meet his gaze. He doesn't know to to make his peace with this as their future because in a way, it means that whatever he goes back to, it's the beginning of the end. Maybe there'll be good things once the war is really over, and yeah, maybe it'll mean peace for the shinobi world. But the things he'd wanted to desperately to get back are gone; here with him in Caissa is proof.

There's a graveyard of things Naruto has never grieved.

Against Bolin's shoulder, Naruto shakes his head, swallows the rest, and lets his breathing even back out.]

[ Bolin's mind wanders. His thoughts wander from the questions that he has about Naruto's home, and his relationship with Sakura and Sasuke to thinking about Adrasteius again, and the finality of their relationship now, and how he wishes— he wishes—

Something, but he doesn't know what. Maybe just an excuse to bring him back under the pretence of unfinished business.

But his thoughts flit away again to Mako, who's the one person he'd summon if he had fancy abilities like that when the press of Naruto's chest against his own during a particularly long exhale catches his attention, and he thinks instead about Opal, and how he would forget how much he missed being physically close with her every time until he saw her again. He misses it now; wants it now - the far away ache of longing for a certain connection.

Then, he shifts his head so that his chin is pressed to the top of Naruto's head while his gaze moves across the room. ]

Do you want to skip the flower shop and get noodles?

[ He thinks about how happy Naruto had seemed at having received the flowers from Sakura, and it brings a small smile to his lips. ]

[ It's true.

But even now, home doesn't mean what he thinks Naruto intends it to be. Konoha had stopped being his home long ago, back when he lost his family, and then so easily turned his back on the people that formed any kind of fragile connection with him. All of those people, in the end, had responded in kind. It was only Naruto who had never given up.

Sasuke has a family now. He has a wife and he has a daughter, and each of them he loves dearly, in his own way. Home still isn't the place he returns to after his travels, it isn't the kitchen or the pictures on the fireplace or the welcome back he gets from anyone in the village.

Home is the silences he shares with Naruto. It's the way Sakura looks at him. It's the way Sarada chased him down demanding answers, her eyes red pinwheels. ]

Well [ Sasuke sighs, relaxing back against the pool's edge. ] you brought me back eventually.

[ Amidst running around and being a terror, Taco Salad will provide some brief respite to spit out an envelope, fainly blue in colour and carrying an obvious trinket inside.

The trinket turns out to be a metal coin, worn grey in colour and a hole in the centre with the Chinese character for HEALTH inscribed on it, shaky, because Bolin's ability isn't really meant to be so precise, but clear. Through the hole in the coin, several thick red strings are roped, coming together to form a tassel.

Behold, the envelope actually contains a letter: ]

Dearest Naruto,

I will always be grateful for your friendship, and the way in which you have given me your support and kindness time and time again. Among the many Heroes in Caissa, you most certainly excel above the rest. It warms me to be able to call you a friend.

Our presence in Enprise is ever uncertain, but that bears no difference on the depth of my appreciation for, and my certainty regarding our bond. I hope that we can continue rely on one another and build upon this relationship.

Sincerely,
Bolin

P.S. You have a gross habit of excessively endangering yourself. Please endeavour to take better care in the future.

[ She's already blushing when she calls him, despite her best efforts. She's incredibly nervous too, which shows in the way she worries her lip between her teeth and wrings her hands together. But this is the hardest part, right? Actually starting the call. ]

U-Um... N-Naruto? D-Do you h-have a s-second to talk?

Hey hey Bolin, how come this money's got a hole in it?

And who wrote this it doesn't sound like you at all?

Eh?

Yeah what's up? Is somethin' wrong?

[He laughs. It's a watery, happy sound that moves through him and bubbles to the surface. Naruto's never been one to mope, and it's rare for him to allow the depth of his feelings to be seen by others, especially when they're like his. It isn't that he doesn't trust people, or that he's ashamed of the way he feels- but instead that Naruto's will- his abject refusal to settle is what's kept him going for so long that he can't allow himself to stall. There had never been someone behind him back home. There hadn't been parents to tell him they were proud of him, or siblings to tell him that things would be alright. As a child his peers were encouraged to ignore or avoid him- because of what he was, because of what that monster had done to the village.

Naruto has always been picking himself back up. He doesn't resent it because it's all he's known, because the alternative had been laying down to die, or to accept that he should be overlooked. I'm not a nuisance and I'm not some kind of germ! he'd shouted once. I'll become Hokage so that everyone will be forced to acknowledge me!

It's always been about impossible dreams. About sharing those impossible dreams with others.

People aren't that different, he thinks. Maybe the little things are, their individual histories and the things they care about, but they always care about something. No one wants to be alone. No one wants to be hurt.

A person is able to become truly strong when they wish to protect someone they cherish.

Back in his own body he's aware of Bolin's chin on the crown of his head, of his face pressed into his neck. Of the way their arms lock. It occurs to him that he's never been hugged like this before, and then somehow... somehow he's not sure that a hug is the right word for it. And then he realizes, this is what it looks like when someone cares about your feelings. This is Bolin, who came here because he was sad, being kind to him because they're friends. It isn't really one person taking care of the other- but he's not sure when he's felt this before- the opportunity for him to be sad with someone else. To sit with those feelings and not have an answer for them, but not to drown in them either. Naruto's shoulders relax, hands sliding to rest on Bolin's biceps and just lingering there, holding on.]

Hime-chan said she's gonna help me make a big garden.

You should help us too. We'll need lots of hands. She's never really grown plants before, and even though I have, I've never done something that big.

I... [ Nope, this is the hardest part. ]

I-It's nothing! N-Nothing r-really... I-I just w-wanted to...

[ Bolin had been getting back to training when the call comes, Yun darting out to headbutt him right in the legs and send him tripping onto his face.

So he sounds slightly pained as he takes the call. ]

What? What do you mean it doesn't sound like me?

Wanted to...?

[He notices the difference, the strained sort of sound to his voice, but it's not really pronounced enough to comment on. On the opposite end of the feed, Naruto is scratching his cheek thoughtfully.]

It sounds all fancy and stuff. Like not how you really talk.

T-To, um...

[ .

.

.

Finally, in a small voice: ] N-Naruto, d-do you think I'm... m-mature?

[ He's rolled onto his back now, rubbing his nose, and frowning for two reasons. ]

Are you saying I can't be eloquent?

[ It is an unusual type of embrace. Bolin has never been afraid of contact, especially once he understands someone to be his friend. It's an expression of closeness; an admission of emotion without words. He's never held Korra, Asami, or - he can't even imagine this - Mako while lying in bed. Though if he'd ever needed him to, he would. It's unusual and different, but it's not weird or unnatural. If this is how his friendship with Naruto is going to be, then that's all there is to it.

Bolin's existence itself might not be outside the norm, but he doesn't bother restricting himself or analyze his actions by some standard of "normal". (Doesn't bother to think or reflect at all, really.) He cherishes relationships for what they are, the closer the better.

He likes feeling close to someone. ]

A big garden? Where are you going to do that? [ His tone is light as his contentment wavers, remembering strongly the garden that Adrasteius had been so intent on—remembers napping in that garden sometimes after training.

He picks back up, excited at the prospect of something that would make Sakura and Naruto happy. ]

I'll help. Are you getting a house after all?

Like... old? [This is so not what he'd been expecting and the sudden shift in direction brings him right up- out of the sprawl he'd been in to sit at attention.]

No I kinda figured we were the same age.

[The pause is just long enough for Naruto to be looking over the letter once more.]

I've never heard you say half'a these words out loud before'attebayo.

[ rude ]

Well, it's a letter! Why not add a bit of flair to it?

N-No! Not that... [ This isn't the direction she wanting the conversation to be going. Why is this so hard??

... ] D-Do you p-promise not to laugh?

[ He starts talking, looking thoughtful, like they're already in the middle of a conversation. ]

Hey Naruto, you've never had a girlfriend, have you?

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im so sorry

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well this is awful

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delivery (a couple of days after the battle)

( video, id: Sakura ) my work blocks the edit page &nothing else so i keep having to repost this omg

audio:

just you blowing up my inbox ig nbd

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don't look at me

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looking intensifies

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video, i'm really glad britt inboxed you so i don't look super needy