[There's something about the conversation that feels like he's telling a secret- not one that belongs to someone else, but one even he had struggled to name. His frown is small and soft, it's a thoughtful gesture- folded together over his stomach, his fingers flex.] I'm not sure how to explain it.
[The memories keep coming back to him- the way Sakura-chan had looked standing on that balcony, the way Sasuke had justified being away from him family for the sake of the village. He knows that he hasn't explained a whole lot about the world he comes from to Bolin, so maybe it won't be very easy to understand, but he can feel his own willingness to try in the way the words bubble up in his mouth. It's more than that Bolin listens, he asks. Even now he's supernaturally aware of the weight of his gaze, of having all of his attention. It's strange to reconcile it when he remembers being so starved for acknowledgement as a child- when he'd wanted even one person to look at him and really see him. Not to say that he mattered, but just to say he was there.]
I thought everything we were fighting for was to change the shinobi world. There've been so many cycles of hatred and revenge. I want to break them, even if I'm not sure how. Sasuke says that everything turned out right in the end, and Sakura says they have a family. But.
[That's the part that hurts. A heavy weight in the pit of his stomach; guilt.]
Sakura-chan has always been waiting for the people she loves to come home. She's always been missing someone. And Sasuke lost his entire family once already- why's he gotta sacrifice it all over again? It's the same thing his brother did, giving up his happiness to protect the village.
They tell me I'm the Hokage now, and that all our dreams came true, that we're on our way to peace.
-But is that really a change at all? It's like we're walking a different to the same place. I just wanted- everyone to be happy. I wanted my friends to be happy. [His throat feels tight. Naruto's voice falters just for a moment, when he continues, his eyelashes are wet.] And even now they keep saying it's okay. They aren't happy and they say it's okay.
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[The memories keep coming back to him- the way Sakura-chan had looked standing on that balcony, the way Sasuke had justified being away from him family for the sake of the village. He knows that he hasn't explained a whole lot about the world he comes from to Bolin, so maybe it won't be very easy to understand, but he can feel his own willingness to try in the way the words bubble up in his mouth. It's more than that Bolin listens, he asks. Even now he's supernaturally aware of the weight of his gaze, of having all of his attention. It's strange to reconcile it when he remembers being so starved for acknowledgement as a child- when he'd wanted even one person to look at him and really see him. Not to say that he mattered, but just to say he was there.]
I thought everything we were fighting for was to change the shinobi world. There've been so many cycles of hatred and revenge. I want to break them, even if I'm not sure how. Sasuke says that everything turned out right in the end, and Sakura says they have a family. But.
[That's the part that hurts. A heavy weight in the pit of his stomach; guilt.]
Sakura-chan has always been waiting for the people she loves to come home. She's always been missing someone. And Sasuke lost his entire family once already- why's he gotta sacrifice it all over again? It's the same thing his brother did, giving up his happiness to protect the village.
They tell me I'm the Hokage now, and that all our dreams came true, that we're on our way to peace.
-But is that really a change at all? It's like we're walking a different to the same place. I just wanted- everyone to be happy. I wanted my friends to be happy. [His throat feels tight. Naruto's voice falters just for a moment, when he continues, his eyelashes are wet.] And even now they keep saying it's okay. They aren't happy and they say it's okay.