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Like... old? [This is so not what he'd been expecting and the sudden shift in direction brings him right up- out of the sprawl he'd been in to sit at attention.]

No I kinda figured we were the same age.

N-No! Not that... [ This isn't the direction she wanting the conversation to be going. Why is this so hard??

... ] D-Do you p-promise not to laugh?

I won't laugh.

What happened'attebayo? Did somebody say somethin' mean?

N-No, nobody said anything...

[ She's so embarrassed that she can't look at him—so she just buries her face in her hands, her voice muffled and small. ]

I-I'm just w-worried that I'm not very... appealing to... someone. O-Or anyone. I know I'm not very mature in a... w-womanly way.

Oh.

[His brows crease.]

Is that 'cause your hair's kinda short? I think it looks real pretty.

[ It's a good thing her face is still in her hands, so he can't see the blush that burns across her cheeks when he calls her pretty. But no—she shakes her head, because Big Sister Hinoka has even shorter hair and she's one of the strongest and most beautiful women Sakura knows. ]

I-It's not that... [ She spreads her fingers apart so that she can glance at him before hurriedly closing them again. Just the thought of trying to explain... ]

I sh-shouldn't have said anything! I'm sorry!

[That isn't the right answer. Naruto frowns thoughtfully, and then- oh hey-!]

Is it cause you're kinda flat?

[ Ah... ]

S-So you think so too... [ At least she lowers her hands—only to fold her arms over her chest and curl in on herself. Is that the faint glistening of tears in her eyes? ]

[She isn't the first girl he's known to feels insecure about that kind of thing. Unfortunately Naruto isn't the kind of person to handle- well... anything, with grace.]

Well maybe you're not stacked or anything, but I think they're still nice!

Ah wait-

What I mean is they're okay

I know lots of girls that don't look like they do in magazines or anything

But that doesn't got anything to do with it. They're still pretty, and some of them...

.....Actually some of them can be really scary'attebayo

But there's a lot more to a girl than her chest. Just because you don't look like that doesn't mean you aren't womanly or anything like that

I like you just the way you are.

[ What is he even trying to say...??

Unfortunately, the damage has already been done, and even I like you just the way you are isn't enough to fix it. She just keeps her head bowed so that her hair hides most of her downcast face. ]

I-It's not just th-that... I'm s-still childish in m-many ways, and I know I'm not very e-elegant or s-strong...[ Not like her mother was or her sisters are... compared to them, she's inferior in every single way. ]

I p-probably don't have a chance, do I!

Have a chance at what?

[He's frowning- it isn't a look of disapproval, but instead one that grows because he recognizes that he's lost track of the conversation. That he doesn't know where they're going with this. His head shakes.]

Hime-chan I don't get it. What's it matter if you're childish sometimes, or if you're not a strong as you wanna be. It wasn't a girl like that who saved my ass two times, it was you.

[His hands lift, both of them scrubbing at his hair like he might shake the thought loose. He's frustrated, but he isn't about to just give up on the conversation either. Even if it takes him awhile to figure it out, he'll keep going until he gets there.]

I've always been an uncool guy. I had the lowest grades in class and even after we got assigned to groups, nobody wanted to be on a team with me. I worked really hard and got to the exams and still nobody thought I could win.

They used to call me dead-last and I was a burden to my teammates. Even now sometimes I still am.

I'm a poor talker, so I'm not so good with words. My techniques aren't very stylish. I mess things up a lot and it takes me a long time to learn things. I know I'm not very smart'attebayo. But if I spend all my time afraid of being who I am, I won't ever be able to do anything.

It's okay to gotta grow some, and it's okay if some things stay the same.

Why're you so scared?

[ She can read his frustration easily, since he's such an open book, and it wracks her with guilt and anxiety. Conflict and confrontation... negative emotions of any kind... especially since it's coming from Naruto, who has always managed to smile for her, it rattles her even more than normal. ]

I... I-I c-can't imagine you like that... [ Naruto definitely isn't uncool at all. To her, he's the coolest, kindest, strongest guy in the world. Even if he wasn't always that way, she finds it hard to picture. But... she sees the point he's trying to make, even if she isn't wholly convinced. ]

I-I just... want to become l-like my mother, or my sisters. They're so beautiful and graceful and kind and so strong. Everybody always looks up to and relies on them. I wish... I could be like that too.

I-I know that... that I have to work hard, a-and it might take a long time, but—

[ She swallows down the lump in her throat, her voice wavering. Why does she always have to cry in front of Naruto? ]

I'm scared that I won't ever be like that. Th-That no matter how hard I try, I-I'll always be... p-powerless... a-and a b-burden...

You might not ever be like them.

But that doesn't mean you've gotta be powerless, Hime-chan.

[He doesn't say it lightly because Naruto understands what she's saying beneath those words. He understands what it means to have people like that walking ahead of him, and to know how much he has to live up to. In a lot of ways he's been fortunate to have the kind of mentors and teachers he has- they're all distinguished in their own ways, and they've left their legacies behind to be carried into the future.

But he's also seen what the weight of expectations like that can do to people. The way it can eat them up inside. The things that get erased.

There's nothing wrong with having a dream, or people to aspire to. But wishing to be someone else just feels like a waste of the people they are. It makes it sound like there isn't any value to her for the way she is.]

I know what it's like to want to change.

But I think it's important to become your own kind of strong. Not like your mother or your sisters, but like you.

[ She has so many people standing ahead of her, that she's trying so desperately to catch up to. Her mother, who was so generous that she didn't hesitate to give her life for her son, who was so kind and elegant and intelligent, the perfect queen and mother. Her sister Hinoka and her unbeatable prowess on the battlefield, who is as strong as she is graceful and driven, angelic when she soars through the sky. Her sister Azura, who is quiet and withdrawn but comes alive when she dances, shining with grace and beauty and magnetism.

Hana and Subaki, who act as her sword and shield. Her title as a princess of Hoshido and all the duties and expectations contained in it, that make her life secondary to her country. Her vision of herself in the future, the person she wants to become.

She tries so hard to keep moving towards them, facing forward and standing tall. But somewhere in the back of her mind lies the persistent thought that, no matter how fast she runs or how far she stretches her arm out, she can never reach any of them. ]

Wh-What if my own s-strength... what if my own me isn't good enough?

[He understands that feeling too, even though he knows it's different for her than it is for him. Naruto has always been trying to catch up to the people around him. He'd wanted his strength to be worth acknowledging because that would mean that he, as a person, was worth acknowledging. That he mattered. It's only as he'd gotten older and learned more about the people around him that he realized the true meaning of strength like that- to protect the things important to him.

It sounds like Hime-chan has had that part all along.]

Isn't good enough for what?

[The question is maybe a little rhetorical, but he really only has his own realm of experience to draw from.]

Would it be so bad to have a different kind of strength? All your friends are different from each other too, aren't they? I bet every one of them has felt that way- scared that it won't be good enough.

[ He has a point. She knows he does. But still— ]

I-It's hard to imagine them e-ever being scared... you too.

[ She says it with a small, almost wry smile. Naruto, scared? Even though she knows he's probably right, that everybody feels afraid at times, she thinks that only serves to make them even stronger. But in her case... what she doesn't realize is that it makes her stronger too. ]

I just... I just want to be a good princess of Hoshido. I want everyone to be proud to call me their princess.

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oh boy here we go 1/idefk

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done

1/2

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i hate yo u

lies

pretend i didn't die

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