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[Bolin continues to talk, following the train of thought out the way one would go from limb to limb in a tall tree. Naruto doesn't follow right away. He sits with the feeling, the one they've been dancing around for ages- the eventuality that some of the people he's become friends with will go back home- Bolin included. He inhales, and then exhales slow. There's nothing to do with an emotion like that. It just has to be there and take it's time.

His friend doesn't seem to want to talk about it, or maybe he's just caught up in possibilities instead, and Naruto lets himself follow. He swings his legs up, nudging into Bolin's side to make the guy make space on the mattress.]

Well, I'm a wind type back home- so that's probably air, right?

[ Bolin shifts to the side easily, caught up in an impossible idea. One of his arms falls off the side of the bed, hand landing on the poof of Yun's wool that the sheep acknowledges with an irritated grunt, but Bolin doesn't move. ]

Airbender, I guess. You'd have to train under Tenzin...

[ Impossible. The world is a big place, but they've had three years for the new airbenders to emerge, and Bolin's having a hard time imagining a new one suddenly appearing, a personality as big as Naruto's. Airbenders had been saved from the brink of extinction, but it's not as though Bolin expects to meet a new one like that.

He shouldn't have said that, it's becoming harder to picture. ]

It'd be nice. Even if it's more important for you to get back home.

[ It'd be incredible if they really could harness this ability to travel across worlds. ]

[Alright not enough space, keep moving. Naruto continues to jostle him over until he's able to stretch his legs out- bare feet hanging over the bottom of the bed. This is becoming a thing for them, a place to lounge around together that isn't being sprawled on the grass after training or the floor of someone's apartment. It's. Nice. It was nice before, but it's still nice.

Naruto reaches for the pillow- fumbles. Twice. Then grabs it as its falling off the side of the mattress just so he can use it to swat Bolin in the head with it. The gesture is more playful than anything else and he has the grin to prove it.]

Oi oi you're talking about work again.

[Bolin made that joke one time and Naruto is never going to let it go.]

Tell me somethin' else in stead. Tell me about your noodle place.

Ow! Hey!

[ Bolin protests the treatment loudly, scooting away and jostling Yun as he does so, her sound of protest evolving into a growl. (He moves his hand out of her fleece then, out of consideration, not fear.)

He sighs as he faces Naruto, the position feeling so familiar. ]

Okay. The noodle place? [ He thinks about it, it's been a while since he's gone, and he needs a moment to think about what to say. ]

Well, it's called Narook's Seaweed Noodlery, and it's got the best seaweed noodles in the city! They're totally authentic Water Tribe noodles too, my friend Korra loves the place as she's from the Water Tribe. [ His hands are up now, gesturing and revealing his enthusiasm as he talks. ] But that's pretty typical of Republic City: you can find stuff from all over the Four Nations!

[ on the morning of the 23rd, you receive a package, wrapped neatly in glossy white paper and gold ribbon, with a photo attached to it. It’s a picture of Teddy, your resident Prime Minister, giving puppy dog eyes at the camera and holding up a sign that reads “I ♥ HEROES”. the message on the back of the photo says: ]

Dear Naruto Uzumaki,
I am happy to see that you made it back from Gammon, safe and sound. War is truly a terrible thing, and I can only imagine the horrors you had to go through. I thank you for your service, from the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of Blanc’s citizens. We are truly grateful.

Commander Pinta has informed me of your valiant efforts in the recent battle to protect the Kingdom of Gammon. Gammon is an important ally of the Republic of Blanc, and though a battle is never an enjoyable ordeal, I do hope you enjoyed the sights and celebrations our sister nation has to offer.

But not too much! Gammon is a great place, but Blanc missed you, Naruto! I missed you. I thought it might be nice to send you a little gift, which I hope you’ll enjoy.

Warmest regards,
Thierry Toussant

[ Unwrap the box and you will find:

A comically large carton of instant ramen. There are flavors (over 100) one wouldn’t even dream of, such as “birthday cake”.

If your eyes happen to wander over to your window, you notice you’re not alone. Wait a minute, is that… Teddy peeking in, watching eagerly as you unwrap your gift? Was it just your imagination? Whether it is or not, he’s already gone! ]

[He doesn't take the protest seriously but that's because he isn't supposed to. The pillow was a punctuation mark and a diversion in equal measure- moving them into the new. He isn't trying to run from the sense of sadness that they never seem able to shake, he's just rolling with it. Like all things, the emotion won't be all consuming forever. Life goes on and so do the people in it- what matters, he thinks, is embracing those moments as they come. Like this.

Naruto's arms fold behind his head only to change trajectory at the last moment- giving Bolin something to pillow his own on.]

Seaweed noodles? [That isn't something he's thought of before.]

Are they real salty? Is it like kelp, all green an' stuff?

It can't be better than ramen, nothing's as good as that.

[That single point is like a pin, sticking Naruto to the spot and letting him spin wildly around it- the needle around its center. His fingers spasm at his sides in an instinctive attempt to grab onto something, anything and steady himself. One finds the edge of the pool, the other lands on Sasuke's forearm, completing their circuit.

There's one too long moment where he thinks his legs might give out beneath him and he'll black out again. The water sloshes, he trembles like a leaf, and it's there inside him- the words he can't, won't say aloud. I can't do this. It's too much. I don't know what to do. It's too much. It's too much. I can't.

He starts to cry instead- a rattling, bone deep sob.]

[ There's something horrifying about watching Naruto come apart at the seams. Sasuke forces himself to watch because he's been looking away for too long. He'd looked away in his own pain. He's looked away to protect the Village. He watches Naruto's walls come down in his expression, the catastrophic crippling of his defenses. The grip Naruto has on his arm is needle sharp— his nails dig into Sasuke's naked skin and leave perfect crescent moons behind. The sob that shakes out of him punctures the tranquil quiet of the hotspring— not a shout, or a scream, but the low boom of a structure collapsing under the pressure.

Sasuke had cried like this when he lost his family. He'd cried like this when he realized what had happened to his brother, that he had killed the only man who had loved him unconditionally despite it all. Back then, it was all that had mattered. He'd been too blind to recognize that Naruto had been offering him the same thing for years.

He doesn't try to shush him. Theres no feeble attempt at comforting words. Sasuke keeps his heavy eyes trained on Naruto's face as he holds him pinned to the wall and accepts the weight of this. That with this choked weeping he can feel his own heart rend sympathetically.

This loneliness, he's shared it with Naruto ever since they were small. The burden of something that feels too big, and the inadequacy that follows.

It hurts. ]

[He can't describe where the sound comes from. It wrenches out of the bottom of his stomach like his insides are being scraped raw. He cries until he feels like he's going to run out of things to cry about, until he isn't able to feel sad anymore or lost or wretched. Sasuke keeps him still and Naruto, with nothing else to do and no idea what he needs to stop feeling so horrible- reaches for him the way a drowning person reaches for the surface. He's just trying to find something that doesn't move- something to keep his head above water. Naruto has cried infront of people before but it's never been like this.

It's never been so... all of him.

He hugs Sasuke, arms wound around the man's chest and forehead pressed into his collar. Naruto stays that way until he has nothing left in him, slowly growing quiet as his breathing evens out.]

[ The water sloshes in the movement. Naruto seems to choose to reach for him the same moment Sasuke recognizes what it is that he needs. He moves forward into his reaching hands with no resistance and wraps his only arm around the younger nin's shoulders. Naruto sounds like he's splitting apart, raw and terrible. Sasuke threads his fingers into the jagged cut of Naruto's wet hair at the nape of his neck, secure and solid, cheek pressed against his temple.

He doesn't track how long it takes to crest and fade. Naruto's ribcage rises and falls against Sasuke's bare chest. Even here, so much smaller than Sasuke and shaking with emotional fatigue, he still seems strong, somehow.

Sasuke waits. He doesn't pull away until he feels Naruto shift, and then only lifts his head and smooths his hand to Naruto's shoulderblade. ]

[It's quiet in here. There aren't any outside noises, not from people or from music, there aren't any ambient sounds. It's just the trickling of water and their breathing and- a loud, almost comical sniff. It's wet and embarrassing, the sort of thing that would break the silence in a funny movie or give a protagonist away while they were trying to be stealthy.

Naruto shuffles back a little at a time, his left hand drawn out to scrub at his eyes as he starts to get it back together. There's nothing self-conscious about the gesture, which is maybe the most surprising thing of all for a boy so often jumping to extremes when caught out. His head shakes. He doesn't look up.]

Sorry'ttebayo. [Another wet sniffle. His voice sounds hoarse, but not as fragile as it had before. Maybe he's just too tired.] For a second I thought I was gonna fall over again.

[ Sasuke's eyes are lidded as he watches Naruto recover. He's never watched this happen before, never seen the way it looks on himself. Naruto looks exhausted, but unbroken, his voice is wobbly but it doesn't falter. ]

Again? [ He probes, gently. ]

[Water sloshes noisily around his knees as Naruto backs up. It feels like his legs are wobbly, but it's probably just because he's been standing so long all hunched over. Actually, he'd cried so hard that his head kinda hurts. One hand lifts to reach for the side of the pool and he uses it to guide himself backwards and down, taking his time with the process.

The question is more or less waved off.]

It was a long time ago, with the Kage summit.

[Naruto sinks back into the water by degrees, his face still feels hot from crying, and he's tired- but at least he doesn't feel like... like that anymore.]

I don't really remember what happened. Yamato-taichou made me stay in bed to recover for awhile after. It's a little embarrassing to think of now.

[ It does lift his spirits to talk about Narook's, the nostalgia creating a familiar, cozy feeling in his chest. Like he's still got a bit of home with him.

He's happy too, knowing that he's got Naruto here. ]

Yeah, it's green! Because of seaweed. [ Which is fairly self-evident. ] And they're normally salty... Man, my mouth is starting to water just remembering them. It is kind of like ramen, but a different kind of noodle and broth? But the same... elements?

[ He knocks on Naruto's shoulder. ]

What do you miss most about home?

[Most is a hard thing to talk about because it's so many different things, and none of those things are really easy to bring up. The big stuff is a far cry from the comfortable tone they've slipped into too. Naruto's feet swing thoughtfully, a lazy sway from side to side.

Now that he mentions it...]

There's nothing here like Ichiraku.

[What a pathetic sounding voice! He's starting to rub his stomach just thinking about it.]

I've been dreaming about that ramen forever, and the old man that runs it sometimes gives me extra bowls, yanno? It's the best when somebody else treats you, but Ichiraku's always so good I spend all my money there anyway.

Ichiraku? [ He sounds a little puzzled before he laughs a little. ] Ramen? That's what you miss the most?

[ Maybe it's on Naruto's mind since they're already talking about noodles. Bolin crosses his arms over his chest as he thinks about it. ]

I kind of understand. That old man sounds pretty nice, it's a good thing that you're still paying or his kindness might've run him out of business... [ Naruto's got a bit of an appetite.

He's thinking about what kind of place the other boy comes from now though, where kids are trained to fight and work as ninjas rather than being caught up in it all through circumstance. It's a little hard to picture. ]

But I guess you have Sasuke and Sakura here, even if they are old.

[ .... ]

I still can't believe you won't ask them anything about your future!

[It's probably a little more than that. Naruto can be pretty frugal, but going to Ichiraku had always been something special- when no one else in the village would tolerate him, he could always climb onto a stool there and didn't have to get worried about getting kicked out. And then after that are a string of memories associated with celebrating with his friends- when Iruka-sensei treated him for the first time after he graduated the academy, sitting with team seven, trying to trick Kakashi-sensei into taking off his mask. In the whole village that one place had been something he could always count on. It really is synonymous with home, more than his little one bedroom ever could have been.

The memories leave him beaming at the ceiling, content and warm, even as his thoughts drift Sakura and Sasuke.]

I've asked them a couple'a questions, but. [His brows scrunch together and Naruto's head rolls to look at him; they're almost nose to nose.]

I'm not really sure that they're happy.

[ Naruto’s going to find a curious, insistent stare looking back at him. Though once he turns his head, Bolin’s expression shifts, nose wrinkling at a puff of breath, his thoughts rudely drifting even as Naruto answers a question that Bolin had asked him. He’s always been a physical person, without even thinking about it—really, he’s never thought about it before. Even when he’d had Adrasteius with him, and the elf had been averse to contact forcing Bolin to watch himself, it had just become another habit. He doesn’t reflect on his tendency to embrace his friends, or reach out to others as a means of comfort.

But Naruto is close, the kind of close that he gets from Varrick when the other man gets excited and blatantly invades his personal space. Except it’s not exactly that kind of close, because it doesn’t come from a blatant disregard for others in the face of one’s own excitement. It’s different. Different enough that he notices. ]

Really? [ He frowns, tilting his head away as he replies so that he’s not breathing his response over Naruto’s face. ] Even though the war you’re fighting is over?

[ A long time ago was such an understatement for Sasuke. It feels like a different life, almost. The stranger he was, ready for blood. He watches Naruto settle and Sasuke shifts, water sloshing against his chest as he takes a seat next to Naruto. They're close enough that if he moved his knee, they'd touch. Sasuke tips his head back against the edge of the pool. ]

What happened?

[His shoulders soften by degrees and Naruto becomes a gentle slope, disappearing into the water around his chest as his elbows come to rest on his knees. The longer he stays here, trying to catch his breath and pull himself back together, the easier it gets. It's a strange feeling- when the body surpasses the mind. His heart still feels tender and raw.]

Eh? What d'you mean?

[There's something about the conversation that feels like he's telling a secret- not one that belongs to someone else, but one even he had struggled to name. His frown is small and soft, it's a thoughtful gesture- folded together over his stomach, his fingers flex.] I'm not sure how to explain it.

[The memories keep coming back to him- the way Sakura-chan had looked standing on that balcony, the way Sasuke had justified being away from him family for the sake of the village. He knows that he hasn't explained a whole lot about the world he comes from to Bolin, so maybe it won't be very easy to understand, but he can feel his own willingness to try in the way the words bubble up in his mouth. It's more than that Bolin listens, he asks. Even now he's supernaturally aware of the weight of his gaze, of having all of his attention. It's strange to reconcile it when he remembers being so starved for acknowledgement as a child- when he'd wanted even one person to look at him and really see him. Not to say that he mattered, but just to say he was there.]

I thought everything we were fighting for was to change the shinobi world. There've been so many cycles of hatred and revenge. I want to break them, even if I'm not sure how. Sasuke says that everything turned out right in the end, and Sakura says they have a family. But.

[That's the part that hurts. A heavy weight in the pit of his stomach; guilt.]

Sakura-chan has always been waiting for the people she loves to come home. She's always been missing someone. And Sasuke lost his entire family once already- why's he gotta sacrifice it all over again? It's the same thing his brother did, giving up his happiness to protect the village.

They tell me I'm the Hokage now, and that all our dreams came true, that we're on our way to peace.

-But is that really a change at all? It's like we're walking a different to the same place. I just wanted- everyone to be happy. I wanted my friends to be happy. [His throat feels tight. Naruto's voice falters just for a moment, when he continues, his eyelashes are wet.] And even now they keep saying it's okay. They aren't happy and they say it's okay.

[ He doesn't want to know what that's like. Bolin doesn't have big dreams, but he doesn't want to know what it's like for Naruto, who's had that dream and hope, and worked so hard for something he really believed he could make happen, and see it come out all wrong. It must be heartbreaking, to dedicate your life to something and know that it's nothing like you dreamed; to know especially that the ones that had been fighting with you are done with that belief.

Bolin is naive and optimistic in most cases, backing off of conflicts or compromising heavily because he doesn't want to see that expression. And even if he's ignorant, he can feel how much this hurts Naruto. He doesn't need a frame of reference; comparing it to Korra, her big ambitions, and how much each of her victories took out of her.

It makes his chest go tight, an answering warmth in his own eyes at seeing the state that Naruto's been brought to, and muscles tense with desire. A wish to think of something to say to lighten the situation; a way to make it seem better than what it is. Something positive, something good.

He knows better than to pursue that desire however, and instead he turns on the bed so that he's facing Naruto more clearly, reaching out to take him by the shoulders and draw him in for a tight hug, nothing careful or tentative about it. ]

Hey, I'm sorry. I wish you were happy too. I really...

[ Because it's meant to be. That's how it's meant to be when you sacrifice this much. ]

[ Sasuke watches him a moment longer before looking away, down at the glittering water. It's obvious that it's a mana bath, the way light seems to bounce of the surface. If Sasuke didn't know what it was, he never would have stepped foot into it. ]

At the summit.

[ He knows what happened with himself, but back then he'd been so estranged and wrapped up in his own darkness that he realizes... he has no idea what those years of his friend's life was like. Any of them. ]

[He's no stranger to crying in front of other people, even if it is a little embarrassing, and even if it only makes him look even more uncool. Naruto wears his heart on his sleeve for better and for worse. He isn't ashamed of the depth to which he feels things, or the importance of the people he cares about. Every conversation he's had with Sakura and Sasuke has felt like all three of them were just moving around some invisible thing in the room with them, this thing they couldn't name or change or talk about. Naruto knows that they're keeping secrets from him in the same way that he knows, in his stomach, that they're doing it to keep him safe- that they aren't trying to hurt him and that they're just doing their best.

But in that- in the small admissions that they have made, in the way their eyes find his only to slide away- it hurts. It's unreal how much it hurts. Time and again Naruto thinks I failed you. He knows he has his world to go back to, that he still has to do a lot more stuff to get to the point in time his friends are from, but that doesn't erase the sadness. He doesn't know how to fix that any more than he knows what to do to find peace and end the years of hatred and revenge that have consumed all their lives. He doesn't know how this happened. Because he should have stopped it.

Sasuke and Sakura- they're the first people to have known him and accepted him, and they did it when no one else would. Naruto loves them both, fiercely, but if that's really true-

How did he let this happen?
How did he stand by for it?
How could they have fought so hard, for so long, and settled for this?

He can't talk about it with them the same way, because it isn't their burden to bear. They're living with the consequences of actions Naruto can't fathom and in that quiet the words are adding up. He feels like he's suffocating beneath them.

The mattress dips as Bolin shifts and Naruto moves in turn an echo for a gesture he doesn't even recognize yet. And then there are arms around him. For the span of two heartbeats, Naruto's body is rigid with surprise. He can count on one hand the number of times he's been hugged like this- that he'd been able to feel the rise and fall of someone's chest against his own, that he'd been able to fit his chin over someone's shoulder and heard their voice near his ear. Bolin doesn't reach for him like he's scared. It isn't pity or fear or congratulations. He doesn't have a name for the way it feels, it just feels- and Naruto, hands trembling, recognizes the moment he could pull away and instead throws himself into it, trusting that he'll be caught. Naruto's arms wrap around his shoulder and chest, they roll along the mattress in his push to get closer, and his face is buried in the slope of Bolin's neck as if he's the only solid thing in the whole world.]

[His head shakes, a little like he's dispelling a thought.]

We never got to the summit.

[His hair, damp in some places and wet in others, leaves single droplets hitting the surface of the pool. They ripple outwards in a series of small, slow moving rings.]

I found out they were gonna start hunting you, after you took Bee. They told Konoha that they were putting an execution order on you.

I went to the Raikage to ask him not to.

[It feels like so long ago, but maybe that's when things really had started to change. When this thing between him and Sasuke existed everywhere. Naruto sighs.]

Even after I begged he didn't listen. And then I found out that you attacked the Summit. And that everyone in Konoha, all our friends, voted to follow the bingo book. Even Sakura-chan was resolved to kill you.

I thought it really was over. [Even with all this time that's passed, even exhausted from crying, it still chokes him up to think about.]

I wasn't afraid of chasing after you on my own, I always knew it would come down to that somehow. But I didn't know if I could beat everyone else too- everyone in the village, everyone from the other villages.

I knew I wouldn't stop. So back then, it felt like I lost everything.

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